manic depression

when a story is finished, when i have completed the final draft and edit, i am awash for two days with a tranquil endorphin high. Everything about me seems to quilt itself into the tiny gaps of air that escape from my low tiding breath.

when a novel is released, the moent is of pure adrenaline, focusing on every detail, repeating this and repeating that. perfecting this and screwing up that. it is a process. Afterwards, I feel that endorphin high and if i don't have to teach, it can be bliss.

The next day i enter into depression and its here that i am the contrary of everything and a complete ass to the people who love me. Moreso, I could be a danger to myself. I could be if i hadn't spent 34 years in these shoes.

by tomorrow i should be manic again and back into the next project, which in its own right is 50% done.

writing shuold have been some kind of catharcis. instead, i thinkit only serves better, the beast in me.

Johnny Cash - The Beast in Me

take risk and take care,

c.seanmcgee

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror) Paperback Sale

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror)  PAPERBACK

BUY from Create Space (amazon) for US$15 - See below for discounts

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COMING SOON TO AMAZON.COM

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror) Paperback Artwork

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror)

Paperback Cover Art

a kind of ironic approach to artwork i guess. can't take things to seriously.

Coming Soon...

And to be discoutned from 10 until 60% off

take risk and take care,

c.seanmcgee

Alex and The Gruff update

Alex and The Gruff is ready for release. For the first time, I will also be launching the Deluxe PDF in the first launch. I took my time this time round and ensured the editing was sleak and that I could release all versions including paperback at the digital second.

Still, the release is pending news from one agent in particular on whether or not she would like to represent the novel.

More news soon.

take risk and take care,

c.seanmcgee

The Terror{blist} Chapter Two is now LIVE @ LoungeWindow

THE LIVE WRITING EXPERIENCE

I have just uploaded a chpater from:

The Terror{blist}

"CHAPTER TWO"

Click Here to Read Online at the  LoungeWindow

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror) update

So I am officially waiting on one agent in New York now to see if she is interested in representing the novel. I am ighly expecting one of those wonderfully condescending emails of rejection but flooded with spirited hope for the future. Though this particular agent, when she replied ot my query submission, responded without a hint of narciss in her tone. I have to say, it was really refreshing. and i use the word refrshing even though it is 10 degrees outside. So, I imagine she will reply by the end of the week. This time around things seem to be resolving themselves quicker than with A RISING FALL. 

If she turns the novel down, it will be set for publishing in The Free Art Collection immediately. 

I amio finalising the presentation of the ebook now, having just finished editing inbetween chapters of The Terror{blist} (which you can read live online via LoungeWindow

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

Johnathon and The Collector (Part 1)

“Jonathon and The Collector” 

Once upon a time, there lived a boy named Jonathon who loved nothing more than playing in the wild forests of his imagination.

He had a mother and father who loved him so dearly and friends of plenty of whom he danced with so freely.

But one day whilst playing by himself in snow, dear Jonathon met a man he quite surely didn´t know. The man said to him: “My boy, have you the time, for if you have none you can make haste with mine.”

Jonathon thought what a strange thing to say, for why would a man count existence away? “A second, a day or a week or a year, are treasures to keep, my boy, nothing to fear.” Jonathon knew that his musings were wrong, that time only is, in each note of a song. And just as a note may be grandiose and vast, a song that´s been sung cannot sing in the past.

“My boy you´re so clever, then care you a treat? I have in this bag a prize for your feat.” Jonathon smiled and ran to his side and tugged at the bag to peer deep inside. “My child if you will, reach as far as you can, a surprise for you waits at the stretch of your hand. Wiggle your fingers and tip on your toes, the deserve you desire is beyond your nose.”

Jonathon did as the strange man had said, he stood on his toes and he buried his head. When balance was lost there then came a mute cry from a brown hesham bag with a young boy inside.

How did I fail? Stranger please tell me why.
“You won me with logic but I fooled you with pride.”

The Collector moved on and he vanished from sight; into the darkness, away from the light. And inside his bag a collectable toy, with movable parts, a collectable boy.

-- The Lesson of Fear -- A Rising Fall ₢2012 C. Sean McGee

The Terror{blist} - Chapter One is now Live via LoungeWindow

THE LIVE WRITING EXPERIENCE

I have just uploaded a chpater from:

The Terror{blist}

"CHAPTER ONE"

Click Here to Read Online at the  LoungeWindow

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

Stalker Windows:

BedroomWindow: Peep Through Here

BathroomWindow: Peep Through Here

LoungeWindow: Peep Through Here

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror)

Alex and The Gruff (a tale of horror) - COMING SOON - to The Free Art Collection

This is the tale of a polite and well-mannered boy named Alex who; after being abducted by a pedophile, develops an incredible bond with an angry and foul mouthed doll called The Gruff who teaches young Alex how to find his voice. 

When Alex wakes bound in a wooden coffin to manic cursing and abusing, he finds something he’d never imagined having, a true friend. In the days that follow, a small oddly tempered doll called The Gruff will teach Alex how to say no, how to sharpen his claws and how to kill a man. And a triangle of deception will leave Alex wondering who the real victim is.

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

The Terror{blist} Chapter Zero is now LIVE

THE LIVE WRITING EXPERIENCE

I have just uploaded a chpater from:

The Terror{blist}

"CHAPTER ZERO"

Click Here to Read Online at the  LoungeWindow

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

The Terror{blist}

And in his last breath, Gavin could see the lines of calenture drawn around every person, those lines that were etched beneath thick scratchy shading of life’s supposed languor. And life was beautiful.

The Terror{blist} ₢2013 C. Sean McGee

The next two Free Art projects will take a more philo/political perspective.

The Terror{blist} examines the masculation of idealism and the probable effect of the contrary. In a well of depression, Gavin, quits his telemarketing job and joins a group of radical idealists. In the days leading to his act of terror, a typo has all news stations immasculating the acts of his terror group. Thinking he will be remembered forever as someone less than a man, Gavin ponders the things that men do.

The Anarchist tells the tale of a young idealist who comes home from a night of violent protest and looting to find his family bound and gagged and a lesson in true idealism, in his case, anarchism, being taught by a learned psychopath.

Free Art Collection Update

My mind is very much like an Indonesian prison. Every day, the total sentence is reduced for good behaviour and adherence to the rule.

In the case of Alex and The Gruff, the one year deadline to find an agent to represent the novel has been reduced now to 100 days.

I imagine this number will reduce even further in the coming days and may even be released with the current Free Art project: The Terror{blist}

I have no patience for industry, agents and assuming a piece of art is a product to be shopped and pitched. I care only for the creative process with the endorphin/seratonin mix high when a project is completed and the seratonin high when it is released followed quickly by the mass depression that follows which leads in one or two days to the next project and thus the line extends.

So I'm just saying, the search for publishing is not mine.

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

The Terror{blist}

Her mouth opened and closed like a back door, unhinged and molested by a strong breeze and a ‘could-care-less’ attitude towards keeping it shut. Her eyes though, like fleshy barnacles, fixed themselves to Gavin’s constantly dropping stare. It was as if there were two of her; one was listing every possible box that could be ticked; throwing bails of sinking words from the bow of her thwarting tongue while the other was fighting to keep the shades above her eyes drawn for fear that a single blink might be enough for her to find her vessel shipwrecked on the isle of exhaustion.

__The Terror{blist}__ ₢2013 C. Sean McGee

The Terror{blist}

“How often do you do boring things? All the time, most of the time, sometimes, hardly ever or never?’

“I mean, my job it sucks and even television kinda sucks now. There’s never anything good on and they just keep repeating that episode that nobody likes.”

“So all the time then. Interesting.”

“So wait, the depression makes me do boring things that make me bored or the boring things make me bored and that makes me depressed?”

“That’s a very pessimistic way of looking at things? Have you always felt hopeless? How often would you say you feel hopeless? All the time, most of the time, sometimes, hardly ever, never?”

The Terror{blist}  excerpt  ₢2013 C. Sean McGee

Alex and The Gruff - 364 days to go

Alex and The Gruff 

364 Days to Go

Yesterday eve I sent off queries to agents regarding this story. As promised, this will sit in agent junk boxes for one year and in that time, if it has not been taken aboard, it will make its way into the Free Art Collection.

In the meantime, I am digging out KMFDM - NIHIL which will be the fuel for your next FREE ART novella:

"The Terror{blist}"

a short story about terrorism, translation and immasculation.

Until then, I will leave you with a teaser for Alex and The Gruff.

This is the tale of a polite and well-mannered boy named Alex who; after being abducted by a pedophile, develops an incredible bond with an angry and foul mouthed doll called The Gruff who teaches young Alex how to find his voice.

Alex and The Gruff is a 96,000 word horror story that will appeal to readers of Stephen King’s trepid subtlety and to those who thirst for Clive Barker styled blood curdling crescendos.

When Alex and his family change cities, they make their home in a small and squalid apartment in a housing complex full of strange leering and poking people and their pesky shadows which at night, creep up upon the branches by Alex’s window and tic and tac away with their scratching nails. Alex can’t sleep at night and at day, he struggles to comprehend his fear as all of the grown-ups around him seem to paint with their own morose stroke.

There is The Teacher, who circles the air like a hungering bird of prey, never far from the spark of his fright, smothering the children in kisses and formidable adoration. She is trumped only by The Scary Witch; Mother Superior, with her despotic robed expression of dissatisfaction, patrolling the halls with her choking beads outstretched in her strangling hands. And then, there is The Man. He is different. He listens. He doesn’t push Alex aside. He doesn’t pretend that he isn’t there. He makes a friend of him; before he takes him.

When Alex wakes bound in a wooden coffin to manic cursing and abusing, he finds something he’d never imagined having, a true friend. In the days that follow, a small oddly tempered doll called The Gruff will teach Alex how to say no, how to sharpen his claws and how to kill a man. And a triangle of deception will leave Alex wondering who the real victim is.

This novel is based on real events and explores the philosophical theme of the effect of the domestication of children through mannerly learning and poses the premise that ‘politeness is the discipline of abuse’.

Take Risk and Take Care,

C. Sean McGee

Alex and The Gruff completed

95,860 words. Alex and The Gruff. My first horror story.
In the tradition of Stephen King suspense laced with a blood curdling Clive Barker ending. Philosophical Theme: Politeness is the discipine of molestation.

ahem

for the first time in my life, i did not sign my name as if i were tearing a bandage from my skin.
it felt different.
everything feels different now;
i am editing a novel; Alex and The Gruff.
and it is different too.
it's the change in me
that's changing you.
and for this i have been away.

takeriskandtakecare:c.seanmcgee